Pancake Muffins

My teeth are telling me not to give you the recipes I really want to give you.

I wanted to bake you cupcakes like these, but you can wait till after Thanksgiving, right? Maybe not. 

What about pancake muffins? Pretty rad, huh? 

Do you want a healthy recipe? I've got lots. I made blackberry muffins. Maybe I don't want to share.

I made some (almost) vegan oatmeal banana lime bread. It was super nifty, wish you could have been there.

I have an apple pie in the oven. It has cheese. Do you want the recipe? I bet you do.

Do you want my Grandma's pound cake recipe? Perhaps to try some of my Mom's delicious cheesecake? I never did get around to telling you about my Ninja bread. How does some sunflower seed bread sound? Strange? A little bit weird? Welcome to my life. 

I'm really just stalling. And teasing you with yummy food, but mostly stalling until we run out of muffins and bread in this house and my canker-sore goes away.

Do you want a fancy-pancy cake? I could totally make you one.

Maybe you want to hear about the pizza I'm dying to have, or the caramel rolls my Mom whipped up last week. Those were good. 

Maybe you want me to tell you about how I'm totally craving this chili right now, possibly with one of those pancake muffins on the side? Nobody said I was normal.

Truth is, I just don't really have anything awesome to give you. Oh sure, those things are awesome awesome, but I still think that there's something different I can find to bring you that will make you jump up and down for joy when you taste it and shower me with praises. You don't think so? Too bad. 

I'll keep looking. hang in there with one of these muffins in each hand. I will find you something spectacular to stuff your face with, although these muffins might satisfy you forever.

These pancakes disguised as muffins were the result of me attempting to make honey nut muffins (AKA, Winnie the Pooh Muffins) but realizing we didn't have honey, so doing some quick on the spot thinking and adding pancake syrup instead. The result is a muffin that tastes like a pancake without the chance of you catching on fire. Success.

Pancake Muffins

makes 12 muffins

2 cups of flour

1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of salt

2 eggs 

1/2 cup of milk

2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

2 tablespoons of butter, melted

1/2 cup of pancake syrup

12 almonds (optional) 

Preheat oven to 350F.

In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. 

In a small bowl, whisk together eggs, milk, butter and vanilla. Pour into dry ingredients. Mix well. 

Add syrup and stir thoroughly. Batter should be thin. Pour into prepared muffin cups.

If desired, place one almond on top of each muffin. Bake for 20-30 minutes or until lightly browned. 

Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pans. Serve with butter. Mm. 

 (It's perfectly acceptable to place said muffin on top of scented christmas candle).

Fresh Mango Bread

There are a few things you need to know about me.

1. The Three Stooges scare me. (this will always be number one on every list)

2. I'm totally going to name my daughter Basil. Or Butter. Or Bacon. Definitely Bacon.

4. If my life was spent watching the Lion King with a tub of chocolate ice cream and frozen cool whip, I'd be insanely content.

5. After eating nine muffins I sometimes go into a muffin coma and the only thing that can bring me out of it is the smell of fresh baked bread. Major yum.

6. Some days, I (and the rest of the teenage world) don't feel like waking up and playing a part in the production of life. Life can be stupid. Boring. Not nearly as exciting as dreaming about black and white replays of the Berenstein Bear's in Central park doing the polka and offering gifts of expensive looking leather dictionaries and non-stick cookie sheets. This happened.

To pull yourself out of this magical state how bout knocking the socks off those slightly creepy fluffy animals with thoughts of this Fresh Mango Bread, warm from the oven with a mug of hot black tea and honey with a splash of cream? They won't know what hit them.

This bread is delicious and warm and not overly sweet. Because of the whole wheat flour it has a different texture than most bread, and while it's still very moist it crumbles a little when you cut it, not to mention the large slices of mango every other bite that add a juicy, delicious balance to the bread. Feel free to make this earlier in the week and then enjoy it for breakfast, or maybe even make two loaves and freeze one for future munching.

Fresh Mango Bread

adapted from Joy the Baker

makes one 8 1/2x 4 1/2 loaf pan

3 eggs

3/4 cup of milk

2 1/2 half cups of whole wheat flour

3/4 cup of sugar

1 teaspoon of baking powder

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoon of ground ginger

1 teaspoon of cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1/2 cup of packed brown sugar

1 or 2 peeled, pitted and diced mangos

1 peeled, grated apple

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease baking pan. 

Whisk the eggs and the oil together.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, spices and salt. 

Rub the brown sugar between your palms into the bowl, breaking up any lumps, then stir it in.  

Pour the wet ingredients over the dry, switch to a sturdy rubber spatula or wooden spoon and mix until blended- the batter will be very thick (really more like a dough than a batter) and not easily mixed, but persevere, it will soon come together.  

Stir in the mango, apples, raisins and zest. Scrape the batter into the pan and smooth the top with a rubber spatula.

Bake the bread for 1 1/2 hours, or until it is golden brown and a thin knife inserted into the center comes out clean.  If the bread looks as if it’s getting too brown as it bakes, cover loosely with aluminum foil.  

Remove from oven and let cool for five minutes before running a knife around the edges. Cool for 15 minutes more before removing from pan. 

Stone Berry Muffins

I realize these muffins don't sound that great.

They don't look that great either.

Do you remember when you were little and you were playing in a sand box and perhaps you found some wet sand, and you put it in your mouth? Do you remember the smell? The taste? If you do, that's pretty much what these muffins taste like.

This is where you say, "wait...you aren't giving me the recipe for your overbaked, not-half-bad vanilla and chai pound cake you made last night...but you're giving me a recipe for muffins that taste like wet sand?" Yes. I am. 

The reason I'm referring them to wet sand is really not the taste, or the texture. It's just because I can't figure out what else to refer them to. They sort of taste like really yummy blueberry muffins without any sugar...and...they're gray. It's weird. And not intended. 

I like them. A lot. Hear me? I really. really. like them. 

I made 18 and ate over half of them. Not even joking. They're addicting.

By themselves they taste sort of like really yummy rocks, or...well, you can make them and decide for yourself. I wouldn't give you a recipe if I thought it was terrible. I promise. Make these in your kitchen. Then eat them. I don't think you'll be disappointed..?

Stone Berry Muffins

makes 18 muffins

1 cup of flour

1 cup of oatmeal

1/2 cup of brown or cane sugar

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 teaspoon of ginger (probably not needed, but it made me feel special)

the remains of a bag of frozen mixed berries (about 1/3 a cup)

2 tablespoons of strawberry jam (or whatever you have on hand)

1/3 cup of raspberry preserves 

1 teaspoon of strawberry extract

2 eggs

2/3 cup of milk

1 teaspoon of vanilla exract

Preheat oven to 350F and grease 3 muffin pans. 

Combine flour, oatmeal, sugars, ginger, baking powder and baking soda in a large bowl. 

In a small bowl whisk together eggs, milk and vanilla extract. Fold into dry ingredients. 

Add the berries, jam and extract. Pour batter into prepared muffin pans, filling 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until they are just beginning to brown a little around the edges. Remove from oven and let cool for 10 minutes before loosening with a butter knife. 

Remove from pan. Serve with butter or cream cheese. 

Chili. 'Nuff said.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made!" -Psalm 139: 13-14a

Before I get into chili and ninjas and oatmeal, I would like to proudly say that I have my first niece!

My oldest sister gave birth to her first daughter Thursday, beautiful Anya Marie! I'm happy. :D

I should have made a cake to celebrate. But when I make cake no one eats it. Urgh.


(Urgh is a really unattractive word)

So I made chili. And Ninja bread. And oatmeal sour cream muffins. Yes, I was busy. Actually I was home alone all day with nothing to do but school, so I spent a solid 5 hours in the scolding hot kitchen and a good 2 hours brushing my horse. She's very clean. I did school too. Sort of.

So. . . funny story. My computer decided to be ditzy and spazz out right when I needed to get online to see the chili recipe my sister sent me. . . so I ended up calling my Mom, who's on the east coast with my sister. . . and then. . . I ended up talking to my sister. . . roughly five hours after she had a c-section. We talked about chili. 

How many people can say they called their sister right after she gave birth to talk solely about chili? It's legit.

Yumilicious Chili 

Adapted from Rebecca's recipe (thanks!)

Makes aprx. 6 servings (or 4 if you have lots of seconds)

2 cans of kidney beans

1 can of tomato sauce

1 can of petite cut tomatoes 

1 lb. of ground beef (or pork sausage)

3 tablespoons of chili sauce (or as needed)

taco sauce

hot sauce

1 teaspoon of garlic salt

black pepper

1 teaspoon of oregano

1 teaspoon of thyme

1 teaspoon of basil

2 teaspoons of cumin

parmesan cheese

Brown meat in a skillet with oil, drain grease. Drain beans and pour into pot on the stove or crockpot with tomato sauce and tomatoes. When meat is ready add to the pot. If cooking for 2 hours, put on medium-low heat on the stove or higher heat on the crockpot. If more time, use lower settings. Add your chosen amount of spices and stir well. Note that at the beginning the mixture will be thicker than the finished meal, so don't overdue the chili sauce and tomato sauce. The flavors will meld together as it cooks. Stir well occasionally, tasting it as you go until you have the right consistency and taste. Serve to hungry people. 

It was actually pretty good, but I'm sort of torn. . . I don't want a chili so good that I have a chance at winning the chli-cook off, because that means I have to stand in front of the church. Yes, I have a fear of man problem. 

It's not cool. 

I really doubt I'll have this issue though.

Apple Walnut Bread

Dear Southern California-

Producing hot weather during the fall season is not acceptable in my eyes or in the eyes of many other concerned California citizens. We are all very disappointed in you.

Okay, seriously. Today it was ninety. five. degrees. 

That shouldn't even be legal!!!

Well, apparently it is. Gr you California for making me refrain from wearing fuggs to converse today! (I refuse to wearing flip flops in November)

Converse really aren't that bad. In fact, they're my second favorite shoe. But seriously? Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, compares to fuggs. 

For all of you out there that don't attend my church where ladies in their late-fifties wear skinny jeans and fuzzy boots, that's slang for 'fake uggs.'

Oh well, fall is still in the air, and you want to know why?! No? I'll tell you anyways. 

I MADE APPLE BREAD. 

Apples. Are. Wicked. If there is a better food on this earth that can compare to apples, please show me. I didn't put apples on my list of 3 favorite foods because they're too amazing for that. 

(And I forgot. . . don't judge.)

Anyway, here's the recipe I used, from Joy the Baker's blog, which I highly recommend because she's hilarious and her recipes are incredible! Plus, she gets paid to blog. How rad is that?!?! 

(it's rad.) 

I wish I got paid to bake and blog.  Then I could pay for my horse and I wouldn't be in debt to my parents. Yes, I am in debt to my parents. Like I said, don't judge. That's Jesus' job.

I changed it up some from the original, mostly because I didn't have a clue as to what flax seed was, BUT, it still tasted like heaven in your mouth! Personally, I wish you could have tasted more of the apple, but it was so yummiful that you forget that there was supposed to be apples, that it has so much sugar it's sinful, not to mention you forget who you are, where you live and why in the world you're alive. . . other than to eat the deliciousness. Oh yes, apple walnut bread is powerful.

recipe originally found and altered from joythebaker.com.

(just so you know, I hate how in recipes it says, '1 cup whole wheat flour' instead of, '1 cup of whole wheat flour.' It seriously ticks me off. So if I must hand copy a whole recipe just to add the correct (or in-correct) wording, I will.) 

Apple Walnut Bread

makes one 9x5 inch loaf

1 cup of whole wheat flour

3/4 cup of all-purpose flour

3/4 cup of brown sugar, packed

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

generous pinch of nutmeg

2/3 cup of buttermilk (I suggest using some applesauce instead for a more apple flavor. just sayin')

1/3 cup of unsalted butter, melted

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

2 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup of grated apples (I used 1 whole apple)

1/2 cup of coarsely chopped apples (I used another whole apple)

3/4 cup of coarsley chopped walnuts (or if you're lazy like me, just put them in, you won't die, I promise)

cinnamon and sugar for sprinkling

Grease a 9x5x3 inch loaf pan and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flours, sugar, salt, baking power, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg.

In a small bowl, whisk together buttermilk, eggs, melted butter and vanilla extract.

Mix wet ingredients into the dry. Add the grated apples, chopped apples and half the walnuts. Mix a lot.

Spoon batter into prepared pan and top with granulated sugar, cinnamon and the rest of the walnuts. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until you think it looks as done as you want.

Let cool in the pan for 15 minutes then move it to a cooling rack to cool before wrapping. (or move it to a plate)

That's it! Easy as pie. . . or bread. It's soooo yummy I could have eaten the whole loaf. 

I may have. 

.

.

.

Okay, I didn't, 4 other people helped me, but we did eat the whole loaf, except for like, a bite, which is sitting in the pan on the counter. I sadly didn't get a picture of the yumminess because we had to leave for my Dad's college right after I took it out of the oven, but trust me, it looked awesome. 

If you're really desperate for pictures when making a recipe (like me), go to Joy the Baker. Hers looked delicious too. 

Tomorrow I'm making chili for our chili cook-off at church. I've never made chili. Wish me luck! I'm also hopefully going to pull out the bread machine and bake some amazingness. Mm. 

(Yes, you can be jealous. Jesus will forgive you).